For singles, who have maybe met either out socially or on any of today’s Dating Websites, starting out in a new relationship presents another hurdle: Getting used to a significant other’s personality quirks, including when they’re being angry, frustrated, upset, or just plain moody. This can be one of those times when a new couple is most prone to a fight that can get out of hand. For new girlfriends and boyfriends, here’s a quick list of tips on handling your partner’s less-than-cheerful moments:
1. Don’t take it personally! If you have an insecurity streak, you’re likely to personalize every negative emotion your partner has. This is especially a problem when your partner is very open and expressive. Even after they explain that they’re mad about something they saw on TV, you’ll still have a tendency to think that they must be upset with you, too. Stop thinking that! They really are just mad at the TV.
2. Realize that we’re all human. Nobody’s perfect. We’ve all had days when a bunch of unexpected setbacks, small disasters, or petty annoyances pile up. We’ve all had days at work that make us feel like we’ve been through the wringer. And no matter how much you adore your perfect princess or prince, you’re going to have to realize eventually that they are going to be at their worst and that since you’re spending all your time with them, you’ll get to see it.
3. Give them some space. Unless they specifically seek out your company (more likely when they feel sad), most people want to be left alone when they’re in a bad mood. This is the wrong time to be clingy. If your partner is obviously grouchy, but then throws themselves into some activity such as playing a video game or going for a walk, relax! This is their stress coping mechanism (you should have them too!). After they’ve blown off some steam, they’ll be more in the mood to deal with the world again.
4. Be a good listener. When the time comes for your partner to open up about whatever is bothering them, you’ll score points for being a good communicator. If there was a disagreement between you, usually it was the fault of a failure of communication anyway. Regardless, your SO might might just be in the mood to vent, or may shrug it off and reassure you that it was nothing. Consider yourself blessed if you have a partner who’s good at handling themselves when they’re at their worst!
Psychology Today just posted this list of “10 Ways To Express Love”. Go on, read their list (bah, flowers, boring!) – then check back for ours, where we think around that extra corner for you!
Talk to them on the phone until they go to sleep. Especially comforting in long-distance relationships.
Be their ally in a fight. Is somebody giving your sweetheart a bad time? Valiantly come to their rescue by suggesting retaliatory tactics, or just help them do something rotten to get revenge, however petty and symbolic.
Surprise them by doing a chore for them. Just pop up all helpful with getting their car washed, organizing their albums, or mowing the lawn. Wow! Just be sure it’s something they wanted to do themselves, but didn’t have the time.
Take note of their favorite music. When an album is coming up by their favorite band, buy it for them as soon as it’s released.
Take them to the park on a nice day. You remember, that big place called “outside” we used to go to before we all became computer critters?
Tell three funny jokes. Make it your opening line as soon as you see them. Make them short and punchy. See, they met with you and instantly felt better!
Try to listen more than you talk. Pick a time when they need to vent, then just let them ramble until they’re empty. If they can still answer when you prompt for more, it’s not off their chest yet.
Be nice to their pets. It’s hard not to like somebody when your cat is contentedly purring on their lap.
Have an adventure together. Have it be a little “edgy” but not too dangerous.
Tell them, in great detail, exactly why you love them and what you love about them. Why do we forget to do this?
Of course we all know about the big, obvious red flags – the kind you want to get a restraining order for. But what about those odd little personality flaws, that indicate that there may be trouble with the relationship ahead? Test your partner (or yourself) to see if these trouble signs spell a future ‘single’ status change for you on Facebook…
1. Never saying “I’m sorry” or taking responsibility for off behavior. The person who blames all of their problems on everyone but themselves. But what’s more, never being able to admit that they made a flub, even when you catch them in one. That’s going to be somebody tough to resolve problems with.
2. When all their ex-partners are ‘crazy’. Sure, we have all had that one cuckoo we dated once. One or two. But when your partner talks about every single old partner they’ve had as if they dated exclusively from the mental asylum, perhaps it’s time to ask yourself what the common thread is in all their past relationships. Someday, they’ll say the same things about you to somebody else. Continue reading →
June 9, 2013 – by David Wilson There’s a wealth of dating websites for those in search of romance.
Online dating sites offer a seductively slick alternative to real-world pick-up joints. But, because many dating sites are cagey about any fees they impose, clarifying costs can be as difficult as comparing mobile phone plans. Read more
ACCC Deputy Chair Delia Rickard has launched the ACCC’s Targeting scams report, which reveals that over $93 million was reported lost by Australians last year. The ACCC received nearly 84 000 contacts in 2012, which showed a 65 per cent increase in reports of online shopping scams. Read more
Most couples today are finding it difficult to spend some quality time together. Today’s fast pace lifestyle and the insanity of trying to keep up with their children and schedules have created barriers for couples and are taking a toll on a lot of relationships. If your relationship is in a rut and you’re seeking a way to reignite the fire, then a romantic getaway might be what you need to rebuild your relationship.
Although this may be a bit hard to believe, taking the time to go on a romantic trip with your partner can help to make your relationship much stronger. A romantic getaway will give you both the opportunity to make some time for each other, without the interruption of the kids or the report that’s due to think about. If you are ready to give your relationship a shot of adrenaline, there is no better place for you than Bali. Continue reading →
This many decades after the rise of Women’s Lib, it’s astounding that we’re just now getting around to this. Women are now acknowledging that they, too, have a reason to be on the hunt. Based on similar ideas to “The Game,” several feminist dating experts come forward about techniques to dazzle and beguile your male target.
And the men aren’t objecting one bit. Follow the buzz from the younger generation and you’ll find that young men are almost unanimous in their opinion of always being expected to initiate the first move: They’re sick of it! Guys have the responsibility to be the aggressor and then get rejected for their trouble, have all the responsibility to think up some way to sweep women off their feet… and today’s male dating demographic, in a kind of “men’s liberation” backlash, is asking “Why do I have to do all the work?”
Ladies, it’s time you seized the moment of confidence. The gentlemen really do want what you’re offering, now all you have to do is work on your pitch.
Hey, some of these sound familiar! We’ve said many of these things on our very august pages. Including the bathroom mirror selfie, which is now becoming the Internet standard for “don’t do” right alongside the duckface and the spray-on can-tan. Seriously, people, run right out on the street with your phone and wave some money around, asking “Anybody want to take my picture?” How hard is that? Phones aren’t even valuable enough to steal these days.
As the article says, it’s not a fixed factor from your childhood. You can change your self-esteem, simply by deciding that nobody’s the judge of you, that you have reasons to love yourself (and hence others have a reason to love you too), and how changing the way you see yourself changes how others see you. In short, think and act like a winner, and the world treats you like one! It really is that simple.
A guide to tasteful trading of photos for the consenting adult in a long-distance relationship:
A few photos in your Facebook, Twitter, or personal profile is all well and good, but when you have entered into a long-distance relationship (LDR), photos will be an important element of your interactions.
There are a couple of rules to get clear going forward:
(1) Be aware of the law before sending nude photos. Make sure you’re at or above the legal age of consent, and your recipient is as well. Make sure also that your local laws (and the laws local to the recipient) don’t conflict with sending nude photos. You’d be surprised how puritanical some jurisdictions can be, and the simple act of trading a picture between two fully consenting adults can actually get a person labeled as a sex offender – and it can be hard to scrub from your record! Continue reading →