how to have better sex

How to have better sex? First of all, call out your partner’s real name during sex…

When you're engaged in sexual activity, much of your blood flow is diverted away from your brain and into other body parts that are momentarily engorged. This loss of blood in the brain frequently results in a phenomenon called the "brain fart": the act of making a really obvious mistake, the kind that most often occurs when someone is sleep-deprived or hopped up on painkillers. You might, for example, call out a name during sex that does not belong to the person with whom you're actually having sex.

This name could belong to a former lover or crush, but the end result is the same: an extremely awkward moment that's very difficult to explain away.


Calling Out The Wrong Name

• Do not try to explain or apologize. The best route here is to deny and obscure the truth.

• Immediately try to cover up your mistake by calling out your partner's real name. Then call out a word that is similar to the name you just uttered.

• Now, utter your current partner's name again, this time more loudly, to obscure the memory of your slip-up.

• If your partner doesn't buy it, and insists on calling you out, you may have to make major reparations that involve presents, dinners out, and repeated apologies. (In the best case, should your relationship result in a long-term commitment, you'll always have this anecdote to remind you of your crazy early days of courtship.)

• From that point on, resolve to say, "Sweetie," "Oh, baby," or something equally generic during the sex act.

Even early in a relationship, when you're still in the honeymoon phase, there may come to pass an evening when you're just not in the mood. Maybe your favorite TV show is on. Maybe you're mentally exhausted from work or physically exhausted from a rigorous hike. Whatever the reason, you just don't want to do it. How do you break the news to your partner?

Not in the Mood

• Tell your partner early, before he's very turned on—say, when he's just started nuzzling your neck.

• Be sure to make your explanation an "I" statement, such as "I'm just so tired," or "That hike just really wiped me out."

• Make a rain date to reinforce the idea that it's not about your lack of attraction for your partner. Say, "How about I wake you up tomorrow morning with a special treat?," or "I'll make it up to you later, I promise."


How would we know how we fit in with the rest of society if we didn't get daily reports on the foibles and personal habits of others? Dishing serves a common good by reassuring its purveyors that they are not the only ones who, say, bite their toenails or have partners who refuse to pee in front of them. Still, one should be careful that the chattering remains between friends who will treat the information with respect or, more important, keep the information to themselves.

Dishing

• It's okay to dish to others if you need perspective on a problem or incident or if a good friend needs perspective on something that has also happened to you.

• Choose your dishees wisely: Pick one to three friends whom you trust with your most private thoughts and stories.

• It's also okay to dish if the chatter places the unknowing participants in a flattering light.

• It's forgivable to dish if the story is extremely funny or extra-scandalous and you have a very good friend who needs cheering up.

• The longer you date someone, the more tight-lipped you should become. Revealing all of your shared intimacies isn't fair to your S.O. Your primary relationship will begin to feel like a leaking boat.

• When someone who's dishing to you says, "I'm going to tell you something, but you can't tell anyone else," you should stand by your word. Crossing your fingers doesn't count.


Jodie Brittain is the CEO of Australian Online Dating website, Slinky Dating Australia - the Aussie-only Online Singles site for men and women looking for friends or serious relationships. Join Slinky Online Dating for Free!