Dating Tips

Tips For Safe Dating

One of the things which tends to give online dating a stigma in popular culture is the anonymous nature of the Internet. As the old cartoon says, 'On the Internet, nobody knows you're a dog.' You can easily create a profile with various social sites with no verification, and so pretend to be someone you're not.

This is fine for trivial things like playing a level-78 necromancer in an online role-playing game, and nobody will object if you post comments to a social content-sharing site under the nick 'Spastic_Octopus'. Our problems begin when we present ourselves as someone we are not for the purpose of seeking a relationship. Specifically, you will get caught out, and another disillusioned potential partner goes back to the site, likely complaining to the administration at least, if not everyone else they chat with.

Even the most honest of us may have a fault with not presenting ourselves accurately. We all have an ego, after all, and our own self-image gets in the way and makes it difficult to see ourselves as others see us. Here are some areas we should all pay attention to, to ensure that we do not risk sacrificing our online integrity:

Stats Basic facts like age, height, weight, and condition. The thing to remember here is that none of us are cut like a fashion model or a boxer, or at least we don't stay that way our whole lives. We're going to be dating people who will have some faults, somehow, since nobody is perfect. So it does no harm to be perfectly frank about your stats. People have advertised themselves as 'fat, bald, and forty' and 'heavy, frumpy mom' and still gotten dates galore.

Description Try going around to your real-life acquaintances and ask them how you should describe yourself to somebody online. You'd be surprised at what kind of ideas people give you which are an honest evaluation that nevertheless tends to present you favorably. Bonus points if you resemble a celebrity; keep in mind that even celebrities age and gain weight like the rest of us.

Photo We cannot stress enough that photos tend to be the most misleading part of an online dating profile. People layer themselves under baggy clothes, hats, sunglasses, and make-up. Photos may also be outdated. And there's the famous 'MySpace angle' trope, where people have a photo takes at an odd angle so that they're presented differently from how they are. To prevent this, have at least one good portrait photo to use for your main picture and a bunch of additional photos for anybody who asks. Make sure that the photos are as recent as at least the last three years. In our digital camera age, it's no trouble at all to snap a pic and upload it, so you have no excuse.

Personality Description This is more an ideal to strive for than a firm goal to achieve. How can we even describe our personality? Every pro has a con and every con a pro. To understand human nature with piercing lucidity is something that's even baffled philosophers throughout the centuries, so how can we truly be sure that our assessment of our personalities is accurate? So we should try to list our major attributes and hope we have it pegged. Ask your friend's help, here. For example: If you have a tendency to be a 'neat freak', the only reason you'd be dishonest with yourself about it is if you thought of that as a 'minus'. But it's only a minus to someone who lives like a slob; it's a plus to another 'neat freak' who couldn't stand to live with anybody who would let the rubbish pile up for two days.

Lifestyle Please, please, do not strive to fit into some 'in crowd' just to try to be cool. People do this all the time, and they're not even dating online. Do not present yourself as a 'Goth' just because you wear black, do not photograph yourself with guns and cash fanned out unless you're a genuine member of an actual ghetto gang, do not pose as a cowboy unless you actually work on a ranch in Texas, USA, and handle cattle, and if you say you're a 'geek', you'd better be able to format a drive partition and install a Linux distro on it in one try, or there's going to be some explaining to do.

The great tragedy of people who go through life determined to be somebody they're not is that they don't give the world a chance to love them for who they are. We've never seen the person who could invent a role to play that was anywhere near as interesting as the person was themselves, if only they'd give themselves a chance.

Just be yourself! Trust us when we say, there is somebody out there who is looking for someone just like you - not how you think of yourself, but you! Don't deny yourself their happiness by wearing a mask when they come looking for you.

More Dating Tips

Arrange to meet. Don't get picked up from your home. Meet in public places. If possible, double date or go out with a group of people.

Go dutch by paying half of the bill. That way you won't feel under any obligation to return the favor.

Remember that alcohol affects your judgment and lessens your inhibitions. If you are drinking, keep your drink in sight at all times and don't get so drunk that you don't know what you are doing.

Don't assume that some one is safe just because they claim to be religious.

Don't let anyone know where you live. If you want to see them again, arrange a second date and take it from there. Give them your mobile phone number instead of your home phone number.

Always let someone else know where you're going and who you'll be with. You might even consider arranging a time to call and check in. Or you could arrange to meet up with friends later that night.

Always remain alert. Even if you're having a blast and the chemistry is great, it's a good idea to remain alert the whole evening. Make sure you have a mobile phone on you.

Safe dating is very important.

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How To Date Online With Kids In The Picture

It's a simple fact of life that some of us are single parents, for whatever of the various reasons. But this need not be a handicap in your online dating. In fact, it's a little easier to date online than to do so in real life with kids, because you don't have to worry as much about getting a sitter.

For the profile: You should mention in your online profile if you have children and whether you're open to having more. Remember that prospective partners will be wondering about how their relationship to your children will pan out - are they going to be expected to become a step-mom or step-dad? If so, that adds complication to the whole thing. It's best to take relationships one at a time; just focus on your and your partner, first.

Do not post too much information about your children in your profile or anywhere online. You want to be secure that your children aren't exposed to potential predators on the Internet. Do not give out their real names or location or what school they go to. You can mention their age, but don't post their exact birth date.

For your kids: If they're old enough, let them understand what it is that you're doing, but at the same time teach them to respect your privacy. Watch out for funny ideas they might get, depending on their age. Assure them that nobody from the Internet is going to take you away from them, and make it clear that you're not necessarily looking for a 'replacement' for an absent parent. Keep your dating life firmly separate from your parenting life as much as possible. Oh, and don't spend all your time glued to the computer - give the kids some time with you, too!

For your partner: Make it clear whether you're looking for a casual relationship, or a long-term commitment. When you have kids, you're an 'instant family', kind of a package deal. Make it clear whether you expect your kids to be involved, and to what length. The rules change if your kids are two years from graduation or if they are still in diapers. Be especially cautious with first meetings - meet your date away from your home, in a public place, and don't bring them home until you're sure it's someone whom you will be comfortable having around the kids.

Finally, go easy on everybody. Don't expect that just because you love your new mate, your children will love them, too. Getting a step-parent in the picture is one of the chief sources of resentment amongst young children, who might feel negatively towards this new person in the picture. At the same time, your new partner might feel obligated to 'show off' with your kids, to show you what a great step-parent they can be. Or they might go the other way and have nothing to do with them.

Just realize that every case is different and decide what you want, then try to negotiate the best solution for everybody. You have a lot more people and their feelings to consider than just yourself.