Before you go on the date, expect to Google and be Googled. Every woman does it who’s interested in understanding men, and there's no need to be apologetic. If you need to justify your actions, simply think of the man who found out via Google that his soon-to-be-date was actually a fugitive on the loose.
The reality is that you can't not expect to be Googled, and you can't really hold yourself back from Googling. In the absence of friends who can vouch for a person you've just met online or at a bar, you would be foolish not to take advantage of this modern-day resource. Just remember to obey some basic ground rules.
• A person should not be banished based solely on their e-trail (except for people who've broken the law).
• Remember that people share names. The guy you've met online might not be the same guy who runs the white supremacy Web site, even though they have the same name.
• Nothing you've discovered via Google should be mentioned to the other person. Even if you pass a store with a Beanie Baby window display and you spent 20 minutes the evening before reading their Beanie Baby blog, keep your mouth shut.
• Expect them to do the same.
You can't know what to expect when meeting a date for the first time even you are good at understanding men. Will he stick his hand out for a firm handshake, or will he initiate the urban knuckle-to-knuckle fist bump? He may lean in for a hug, or, if he's lived a few years in Europe or Canada, he may prefer cheek-smooching. (And then, does he expect one, two, or three kisses on alternating cheeks?) Even high-fives are de rigueur for certain groups. How will you maneuver your way through such a multitude of potential greetings?
Greeting
• Take charge of an uncertain situation by initiating the greeting yourself. The handshake is the most universal greeting, so opt for this.
• While introductions are still being made, extend your arm firmly (not stiffly), so it's bent slightly at the elbow. Your palm should be open. You are indicating "I want to shake hands with you."
• Smile, keep a pleasant tone to your voice, and make eye contact so that your handshake is interpreted as warm and friendly, not businesslike.
Jodie Brittain is the CEO of Australian Online Dating Service Slinky - the Aussie-only Dating site for men and women looking for great friends and genuine relationships. Join Slinky Online Dating for Free!
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