There are several sex tips for women and there are several golden rules when it comes to sex.
The first should be to never use any untoward euphemisms (such as "bumping uglies" or "dipping your wick") for intercourse unless it's in the spirit of hilarity and you know that your partner will share in the joke.
General Sex Tips for Women
• Be sure to shower at least eight hours before you and your partner settle in for the evening.
• Should your phone ring while you're engaged in sexual activity, do not answer it. (For that matter, remember to turn down your answering machine so you don't have to listen to Great Uncle Lou detailing his bunion removal surgery—sure to dampen even the hottest of passions.)
• While removing the other person's clothes, take care not to rip the fabric or pop any buttons. (Unless, of course, your partner likes that sort of thing.)
• Reciprocate whatever your partner does for you—not necessarily all in one evening, but some time in the near future.
• Keep an open mind when your partner makes a unique request. You may demur, but do not disdain.
• Remove your watch. Some timepieces are heavy enough to cause injury to an unsuspecting partner.
• Remove pets from the premises, so you don't have little pairs of eyes watching your every move.
• Tell your partner what you do and don't like.
Be aware that some pets can be territorial. They don't like this new person commanding all your attention. Or they don't like that they can't sleep in your bed—after all, it's their home, and you're just lucky to live in it. Pet resentment can get hairy, especially when they take a bite out of your partner's calf. How to resolve the situation?
Be Aware of Your Pets
• Stop whatever you're doing when your partner yells in pain.
• Suppress the inclination to come to your pet's defense. Instead, direct your attention and concern to your ailing
• Check to see if your pet has broken the skin.
• If he has, repair immediately to the bathroom for a swab, some antiseptic, and a bandage or gauze.
• Apologize for your pet as you cater to the wound. Say, "I'm so sorry. It's my fault. I should've locked Fluffy out of the room." Take responsibility so your partner doesn't thereafter harbor resentment toward your pet.
• From that point on, locate and remove your pet before you get too carried away by your passion.
Sometimes a new paramour will assume a whole new persona during sex. In the throes of passion, you may be introduced to the Talk-Dirty-to-Me Lover. Your sweet, new partner is suddenly like a demon possessed or, rather, like a demon possessed by a potty-mouthed porn star. How do you respond if you're just not into it?
Dirty Talk
• Try to ignore it and hope that it will stop.
• Try not to laugh at his nicknames for private parts, such as "Mr. Pokey" or "Sir Pokes-a-Lot."
• If part of the routine involves asking you questions, reply noncommittally and unenthusiastically with, "Um-hmm" and "Okay, sure." Your partner may get the hint when you don't respond in kind.
• If your partner asks questions that demand a more involved answer than either "yes" or "no," respond with "I really don't know how to answer that."
• Afterward, admit, "The dirty talk just doesn't work for me." But if it's really important to him, offer to give it a go from time to time.
Jodie Brittain is the CEO of Australian Internet Dating website, Slinky Dating Australia - the Aussie-only Online Dating site for men and women looking for friends or serious relationships. Join Slinky Online Dating for Free!
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