Your Partner’s Friends
• Wear neutral clothes—nothing too flashy or sexy. This will prevent the friends from making damning judgments based on your appearance. The worst they'll be able to come up with is "She dresses a bit boring."
• Drink coffee or some other caffeinated beverage (although not so much that your hands shake) before the meeting in order to maintain an upbeat, energetic vibe.
• Assess the greeting customs of the group. If they hug and kiss each other on the cheek when they say hello, stick out your hand for a handshake. If, on the other hand, they stay seated, nod at each other, and grunt, you should hang back and refrain from making a gesture that might be construed as too formal or touchy-feely.
• Maintain eye contact while you're talking. Nod and lean forward to show that you're engaged and interested in what they re saying.
• Refrain from making controversial statements, such as generalizations about race, gender, nationality, vegans, conservatives, liberals, or New Jersey.
If your partner shows no inclination to introduce you to his friends, even after you've introduced him to all of yours, you may have a different problem to confront.
What’s the Problem?
• Introduce the problem. Say, "We've been seeing each other for a while now, and things are going great. Don't you think it's time I met some of your friends?"
• If he agrees, all is fine. Set a time and date.
• If he doesn't, and isn't forthcoming with a reason, you need to pin the problem down immediately. It's best to get these things out on the table. Take into account that this could be tied to something that's difficult for him to talk about—for example, perhaps he's a serial dater and has no friends, just a string of ex-girlfriends. Maybe you're a dead ringer for his last ex—or for his mother—and he's afraid his friends will tell you.
• Indicate in a lighthearted way that you're beginning to feel unworthy: "Is it that you're ashamed of me?" you might say, with a smile.
• The reality that his reticence might be causing you self-doubt will likely extract some kind of explanation.
• If it doesn't, our relationship love advice is that you may need to resort to a much more advanced "relationship talk" that gets to the heart of why he insists on maintaining such a compartmentalized existence: you in one corner, his friends in the other.
Jodie Brittain is the CEO of Australian Online Dating site, Slinky - the Aussie-only Online Dating Service for men and women looking for friends and relationships. Join Slinky Online Dating for Free!
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