As Judith Martin, aka Miss Manners, once said, "It is far more impressive when others discover your good qualities without your help." Enlisting a friend (or paid lackey) as a "wingman" to dispense little "did-you-knows," as in, "Did you know Tad went to Harvard?" or "Did you know that Erin has two advanced degrees?" is one of greatest dating ideas. This allows you to blush and shake your head modestly as your impressive resume unrolls before your person of interest.
Weaving such tidbits into the small talk while you're flying solo is a much harder task. But it's necessary. For the times you're without a wingman, you should learn how to toot your horn just enough to stand out from the rest of the players. Here's how to do so with aplomb:
• If you're going to wear your accomplishments on your sleeve, limit it to a one-resume-item garment. For example, a college sweatshirt should be worn alone, not paired with a med-school cap and an "I climbed Mt. Washington" tee.
• Figure out what's most important for you to slip into the conversation—is it the fact that you're attending a top-tier law school? Is it your ability to eat twenty hot dogs in twenty minutes? Pick one thing to boast about—one boast shows confidence; more than one comes off as cocky.
• And last but not least, one of the most important dating ideas: Don't count on the topic to arrive on its own—instead, slip it into the natural course of the conversation. Here's some sample dialogue.
You: Do you live around here?
Person of Interest: Yes, I live a few blocks away.
You: Me, too. Normally it'd be a cinch to walk here, but I'm in a bit of pain from running the marathon last weekend.
Person of Interest: Wow, good for you. Very impressive!
You: Thanks. It feels great to be able to say I did it, but I don't know if I could train for another one. It was really grueling.
(Critique: Note the confirmation of the accomplishment followed by the declaration of modesty, which makes it seem less like bragging.)
Jodie Brittain is the CEO of Australian Online Dating site, Slinky - the dating site for Australian Singles looking for great friends and genuine relationships. Join singles from all over Australia and Sydney for Free!
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