Relationship experts say that communication is one the most frequented relationship problems. And really, it would be quite difficult to conduct a relationship without it. But you have to solve your relationship problems. How else could you declare exclusivity or tell your partner exactly what you want in bed? More important, how could you give each other the silent treatment if you hadn't been conversing frequently in the first place?
Now, we're all aware that communication has evolved through the years. There were the centuries of grunting and beating our chests, and then the Romantics came along and penned sonnets and sweet songs. Today, screens and keyboards characterize communication.
This new technology brings new considerations to the fore, but many of the basic principles from caveman days still apply. (Presumably, even cavemen didn't want to know every little detail about their partners' past boyfriends.)
You may have noticed that text messaging and IM screens are small. Many have a capacity of 160 characters or less. This lack of space will only trivialize serious sentiments and heavy-hitting declarations. So what should you use them for?
Messaging
• Never ask someone out on a first date via Text Messaging or Instant Messaging.
• Never say "I love you" for the first time via TM or IM.
• Do use TMs and IMs to send scheduling notes, such as "I'm running late," or "I made the train."
• TMs and IMs are also useful for flirting, including sending quick "Thinking of you" messages when you're stuck in a long meeting.
• Make use of symbols and shorthand only if you've gauged the TM-savviness of the other party and you're comfortable they can translate the jargon into plain English.
• Double-check the digits before you hit "Send" to make sure your message doesn't go to the wrong person.
• More than three "Xs" (kisses) at the end of a message is too many.
• Never use CAPS.
• Never text under the influence. If you think you might use your phone to declare your love inappropriately, give your phone to a friend for safekeeping until your blood alcohol level is free and clear.
• If the other party does not reply within an hour, do not continue to barrage them with messages; instead, pick up the phone and try to reach them on a regular land line.
Jodie Brittain is the CEO of Australian Online Dating site, Slinky - the Aussie-only Online Dating Service for men and women looking for friends and relationships. Join dating singles from all over Australia and Melbourne for Free!
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