There's a well-known dating advice for singles: "Men count up the faults of those who keep them waiting." From a dating perspective, this is exactly why you don't want to be late.
Everyone knows that being late is rude—tardiness telegraphs the message that your time is more valuable, that the other person may be busy but you are busier doing more important things. Being late for a date means you run the risk of making a bad first impression before you've had the chance to really make a first impression.
These are the thoughts that will be running through your date's head as he waits for you to arrive:
After 10 Minutes
• Did she forget about the date?
• I hope everything's okay.
• Maybe she hit traffic.
After 15 Minutes
• Okay, this is getting ridiculous.
• This is embarrassing. I hate sitting here alone.
• Is she standing me up? The b-------.
After 20 Minutes
• What's her problem, anyway?
• She is so rude.
• That's it. I'm leaving, and she's not getting another chance.
See how the attitude steadily sours as the minutes tick by? So, a good dating advice for singles is to call his cell phone to say you're running late. If you don't, you run the risk of showing up just as your date is cussing you out. The perfect excuse can quell his anger, but the wrong excuse will only ignite it.
It's never okay to be late because you . . .
• had to watch the end of the talk show on TV.
• had to finish your book.
• had to iron your pants and shine your shoes, since you forgot to do so last night.
It's okay to be late because . . .
• you hit a traffic jam caused by a horrible accident.
• a friend or family member had an emergency.
• you stopped off to save a child from a burning building…
If you're a late-nik, it's a good idea to set your wristwatch and clocks so that they're 15 minutes later than real time. Even though you know you're only fooling yourself your first glance I may result in the moment of panic that's needed to light a fire under your butt.
Date content should not be left entirely up to either the dater or to the dated. The plan should arise from a give-and-take during which the two parties discuss options and reach some kind of compromise.
• If you're asked, "What do you want to do?" never answer, "I don't know" or "I don't care." Apathy is neither attractive nor helpful.
• The person who initiates the date (the initiator) should have restaurant and activity options in mind when he or she asks for a date.
• Using these options as a starting point, the initiator should guide the "what should we do?" conversation, asking, for example, "Do you like sushi?" "How about Thai food?"
• Activity options should be thought-provoking but not scary—no need to freak someone out by suggesting skydiving on the first date.
• The activity should not be so dramatic that it overshadows the process of getting to know one another.
Jodie Brittain is the CEO of Australian Internet Dating website, Slinky Dating Australia - the Aussie-only Online Dating site for men and women looking for friends or serious relationships. Join Slinky Online Dating for Free!
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