One of the most important dating advice for singles is avoiding cock blocks.
A "cock block" is someone who interferes with a pick-up that's proceeding apace. (The term can also be used as a verb, meaning to interfere with the pick-up.) Despite the obviously male overtones, the term can refer to both a man and a woman on the chase.
For example, an inexperienced wing woman might cock-block her friend while she and her mark are in the middle of some sparkling repartee by cutting in with a, "Hey, Deb, isn't that your psycho ex over there?" This puts Deb in a tight spot—what's a person to do?
• First make a mental note to school your friend, on the basic function of a "wing woman," namely that her role is to facilitate the process, not stop it in its tracks.
• While your mark is glancing in the direction of your psycho ex, give your wing woman a stern look to communicate your displeasure over her faux pas. Say something to the effect that your ex was not psycho. Badmouthing an ex is front of a prospect. You might say in a scolding tone, "Mara, my ex was not a psycho. He was just very fragile."
• Move quickly past the incident so that your mark has little time to think the whole thing over. The last thing he wants to talk about this early in the game is your ex. Resume the conversation you were having before the cock-blocking maneuver: "So, you were telling me about your dissertation on shoe symbolism in late twentieth-century chick lit"?
If you've managed not to be cock-blocked, there's one final hurdle to clear: asking a potential date for contact information. The timing is sensitive—you want to be sure the mark is receptive. Here are some clues that you're being given the green light.
Signs of Interest
• It's been ten minutes, and he's still talking to you.
• His body language mirrors yours. His voice speeds up or slows down when yours does. He's shrugging his shoulders the same way you do when you deliver a punch line.
• His feet are pointed toward you or he's stretching his legs in your direction. (The lower portion of a person's body is under the least conscious control.)
• His eyes remain on yours instead of flitting away to look at the other people in the bar or at the TV situated above the bar. He also blinks frequently (a natural nervous response that indicates an attraction).
• He's emphasizing a point by touching your arm or leg with his hand, or he brushes up against you when he moves past you.
• When he laughs, he throws his head back, thereby exposing his vulnerable throat and communicating his desire to submit to your charms.
Signs of Disinterest
• He's making "wrapping-up" statements, such as, "Well, I should really get back to my friends" or "It was really nice to meet you."
• He's logging serious face-time with the TV above your head.
• Instead of trying to impress you, he's trying to talk you out of it: "I'm really not that great," "I wear a retainer at night," "I have a highly contagious disease," "If I smell like kitty litter, it's because I have five cats."
• He shudders when you accidentally brush up against him.
Jodie Brittain is the CEO of Australian Online Dating site, Slinky - the Aussie-only Online Dating Service for men and women looking for friends and relationships. Join Slinky Online Dating for Free!
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