when should you have sex

The first matter to deal with is: Once you've navigated the dating preliminaries, when should you have sex?

Even we’re trying to give perfect advice on sex for Canberra singles, there's really no right or wrong time—this always depends on the individuals involved.

Some people are comfortable having it on the first date.

Some wait a year.

But if you're in a relationship, experts suggest that the following are valid reasons to have sex: You want to express the love you feel for your committed partner, or maybe you'd just like to assess the goods before continuing with the relationship.

Bad Reasons to Have Sex

• You've already rounded every other base.

• You feel like you should.

• You've been told that you should.

• You're the only one left in your class / fraternity / sci-fi club who hasn't done it yet.

• You want to get it over with.

• You have a bet with your friends.

No matter how you go about determining your approach to taking this next step, the most important advice on sex for Canberra singles is that you must be sure that your partner is on the same page with you, and that you have both clearly acknowledged that it is a mutual decision.

Once you decide to have sex, it's of the utmost importance that you have the STD talk: when you and your partner discuss the last time each of you were tested for the full range of sexually transmitted diseases. Talk about difficult conversations! But this one is absolutely necessary.

The STD Talk

• The STD talk needs to take place when you're fully clothed. This is a serious matter and should be treated as one.

• The best timing for the talk is far enough away from the actual act so as not to sully the mood. During dinner on the intended night is a good option.

• To embolden yourself, realize that bringing up the topic is flattering. It means that you'd like to have sex with this person.

• Don't hit this nail head-on at first. Bring it up indirectly. You might say, "I'm still a little woozy from giving blood the other day. Have you given blood recently?"

• If they say yes—and if they happen to be carrying their Red Cross card, all the better—the AIDS part of the talk is over. But of course, there's more to cover. Now that the talk has begun, come right out and ask, "So, do you happen to have a doctor's note saying you're free and clear of genital herpes and any other STDs?" Immediately after you ask, shove a forkful of mahi-mahi in your mouth.

• With you engaged in chewing, the other person has no choice but to fill the awkward silence either by declaring a flawless medical history or, alternatively, confessing there's something they need to tell you.

• If their answer is, "Not sure," request that they get tested ASAP, before you consider doing the deed.

Once you both have a clean bill of health, it's time to turn your attention away from icky STDs and on to setting the stage for sexual activity. As you probably know, suddenly lunging at your date for a kiss is not advisable. Neither is expecting to have sex when the atmosphere isn't right. But how do you make it right?

How to Set the Mood

• If the act is to occur in someone's home, that person should take full responsibility for making his or her place sex-tastic.

• The first order of business is to ensure privacy. This means getting rid of any ne'er-do-wells who are crashing on the couch and warning roommates in advance of your plans. Tell them, "This is a special night for me and Derek, and we'll need the place to ourselves."

• Be sure to change your bed sheets and pillowcases in advance.

• Cue up the music so that it's ready to go once you get home. When choosing music, stay away from anything too cliché or explicit, like "I Want Your Sex" by George Michael, "Sexual Healing" by Marvin Gaye, or "Doin' It" by LL Cool J. Instead, opt for something subtle that can act as romantic ambiance rather than taking center stage.

• Lighting is just as important as music. Turn off unflattering overhead lights and opt for small lamps and candles, to encourage removal of clothing.

• Put away any video equipment you happen to have set up in your living room or bedroom—this could otherwise scare away your partner.



Jodie Brittain is the CEO of Australian Online Dating website, Slinky Dating Australia - the Aussie-only Online Singles site for men and women looking for friends or serious relationships. Join Slinky Online Dating for Free!